Not Sure How I Feel About Blogging

I feel like I have zero interest in my blog anymore. It just sits here, un-used. I thought I'd try typing a little in it, just to see how it feels. Most everyone who knows me sees my daily happenings on facebook, so I feel like I have nothing orignal to say on my blog. However, I really enjoy reading other people's blogs, even if I already know everything about them! I'm not a very creative blogger though....like my mom, for instance.

Well, tomorrow I'll be 39 weeks pregnant! It's rather surreal to think we'll have a baby boy very very soon. It's almost more surreal that when we were about to have Audrey. I hardly even take time to imagine what it will be like because it seems so strange to imagine!

My first emotion is excitement! I am thrilled to be having a son! I'm excited to be a mommy to a boy and to see Chris with a son. I love seeing Chris with a daughter though....but I'm positive he'll be great with a little boy too! For some reason it means so much to me that he will have a son. Probably because he never knew his dad and has no close male-blood relatives. I'm excited to see Audrey with a sibling and excited to see how he brings even more cheer and enjoyement to the family and our extended family as a whole. It's been a blast to share Audrey with our parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., so it's fun to have another to share!

My next emotion is a bit of fear! We have a tight space here and originally thought we'd have a hosue by the time a second baby was coming. The whole sleeping arrangement thing makes me a bit nervous/apprehensive, but if there's anything I've learned thus far about life/parenting is that there's really no use in making a big deal out of anything. Every stage will pass and in looking back at any stage, it never seems that bad and if anything, you just miss them being so little. My personality is pretty much the opposite of taking things lightly and having a 'whatever' kind of demeanor, but it's much easier on the mind to try to go-with-the-flow and not worry about things, it will be ok! I think I'm trying to convince myself it WILL be ok! I wonder if Audrey will ease up on her neediness once the baby is born? Maybe she'll occupy herself with playing with the baby and stop demanding so much from me. I can hope right?

I also feel a weird sense of sadness. Kind of like the last day of school. I certainly don't want things to stay the same and I certainly want this baby boy more than anything, but it's strange to change up the family. It's been the three of us for three years! I think silly things like, 'Poor Audrey, she'll have to share us!' However, I think one of the best things we can do for her life is give her a sibling! I can't imagine not having my brothers, so I'm trying not to waste time dwelling on change being 'sad', because it's really not. I just hope we can make sure Audrey knows she is loved just the same :)

My water broke with Audrey, so I'm super curious to see how this time around goes! It's such anticipation. My water could break in 2 mintues or I could be induced in 3 weeks, who knows! I am very much hoping baby boy comes before or at his due date (June 9th) so we can all be ready for Kellie and Michael's wedding the the 23rd of June! Audrey and I have been honored to be asked to be in the wedding and we'd both like to be there! Eeek! Luckily I have a beautifully even-tempered and laided-back cousin, who is the opposite of bridezilla. She says we'll just go with the flow :)

Well, Chris should be back from hitting softballs any minute, supper is in the oven, Audrey is going on a rare 2-hr nap, and baby Addison (my niece) is coming over in an hour to play with us so her parents can have a date! So.....how's that at a blog attempt?

Family of three, but not for long!