Remembering Casey

My friend Casey passed away on October 2nd of this past year. She was getting scans clear of leukemia, which she battled a few years back, but just this past fall, Multiple Sclerosis came, an all-too vicious and aggressive version of MS. 

When I think about Casey and how I miss her, I really just want to write a 50 page book covering every detail of our 10 year, 1 month friendship. That way I can always look back and remember every instance, but I've decided there's no way I could ever forget any of it! I want to share every memory of her with you, but I won't, for it would take all day and then some!

Over the last several years, I haven't seen Casey much, she moved to Kansas to teach after college, but we'd see each other when she came back on breaks: summer break and Christmas break. So, I've grown to be accustomed to being friends from a distance, keeping up through emails, facebook, occasional phone calls.....but now, I feel like I should be seeing her. It was just Christmas break and us four roomies would have gotten together at Olive Garden. We would have started giggling instantly about something random, but then we would have gone around the table and each taken a turn to update each other on our lives. So, I"m sad. I'm not sad and missing her every second of everyday, not like Casey's beautiful Mama and Dad, who feel her lost so deeply in each moment. I'm missing her often though; when I'm in the car alone and I hear a song that reminds me of her, the color purple, and now, when I should be seeing her, I really extra miss her.

It seems unreal and unfair and it even makes me mad that I can't see her. I want to hang out with her, talk to her, laugh with her. When I see her face in my mind, she looks like she always did, all smiles, tan skin, dark hair. I feel like she must be in Kansas, ready to come home to see us soon, any day now. Then I remember what has happened and I see her in her hospital bed taking the breaths that would fill up her last day here with us. She wasn't tan, she didn't have her hair, she didn't have her smile. I leaned down and kissed her head and I whispered to her, "I love you friend, now go see Jesus". She was surrounded by a great army of family members and friends; Casey loved her family and friends and they loved her.

I'm so grateful her Mom let us come say goodbye, how gracious. I'll remember that day, but mostly, I will not. I will remember all the fun we had, her crazy antics, and her giant smile.

I miss her, she was on my list, my small list of dear, dear friends; friends that will always be friends. I can't quite seem to make it a full reality in my mind that I'll never see her on earth again, it pains my heart to think that that is an actual fact. I want her back, I do. I'll miss her forever while I'm here in this place.

So, that was my moment of grief, but don't feel too sad for me, I don't need comforting words, I just want to think about her and share her, so I appreciate you reading this and letting me get out my memories and sharing in them with me!

Casey wasn't a girl of grief and sadness, she was a bright, bright ray of sunshine and light, so, she would want me to share fun pictures of us, which I'm sure I've shared before, but I'll do it again because I can't get enough of them. They are in no particular order, in fact, they're rather out of order....

The Roomies: we were all at each others' graduations. I graduated first, then Kels, then Heather and Casey together.

It always meant a GREAT deal to me that Casey was so kind and accepting of Chris as he became a part of my life. I could tell that she actually enjoyed him being around, she didn't have to put on an act and tolerate 'Brianna's boyfriend' hanging out with us, she just joined in on the fun and it was a pleasure for me to be able to have fun all together. (To Chris' credit, I happen to think he's super easy and fun to be around, even when you've just met him :) She even told me, "Brie, I really like Chris" They became C-Dawg #1 and C-Dawg #2 (Chris offered for Casey to be #1, but she had to be #2 cuz she hates odd numbers, haha) They shared a very similar goofiness :) 

Where we became friends, at our dorm: Lourdes. Fall of 2003, we all started at WSU! Kels and I shared a room and Casey was in the room next to ours! Kelsey, being the boldest of the group, insisted upon meeting the girl next door and went right into Casey's room and introduced herself. It was all history from there! Casey was 17 (almost 18)  here, Kels 18, and me 19. Oh the stories I could tell from this place. The highlights involve: pounding back and forth on the walls, 4 am fire alarms, more pouding on the doors, celebrating birthdays, etc :)

You know you've found a real friend when you can do the gopher together after having just nearly met.

I specifically told Casey if I ever needed to blackmail her, I would use this picture. I don't need to blackmail her (duh), but I might as well share this now! What a nut! By the way, in case you don't know us, we spent all of our years at college sober, although one might think otherwise from this picutre, haha!

Another excellent picture I'm sure Casey would be glad for you to see :) 

Casey and I were ninjas, I have about 15 similar pictures as this. We argued and fought, literally, over who was the best ninja. (All in fun)  Casey would write me messages or emails and end them with something like this: "Well, that's all for now, miss you..."**Casey roundhouse kicks Brie to the jaw, Brie falls to ground and Casey is declared best ninja** haha I miss that. 

The end of the 2004-2005 school year. This was the year we all lived together at East Lake. The next year, we didn't have Kelsey :( We went to Olive Garden in La Crosse, played games, and had a living room sleepover to celebrate finals being over!

Backtracking from the previous picture...this was our FIRST night together for the 2004-2005 school year! We were busy unpacking and catching up, but I made us stop to pose for a timed picture (I'm glad I did that a lot!) This is my favorite one of all of us. Note in the picture above this one how LESS tan we are!

Roomies+Chris+Cousin Megan. Just like she treated Chris so well, she also was so sweet to my cousin Megan, who also lived in Winona at the same time as us. It meant so much to me that we could all be together and have fun. Megan and Casey are a lot alike in my mind, two people that are easy to feel at ease with, and very funny too! The two of them even had a lunch date once without me (after I graduated). How cool is that?!

Oh Bish, I miss you! This was taken on a super fun summer night when all us roomies, plus Cara, got together. So fun!

This girl was goofy for sure, but something I always cherished in her was her amazing ability to listen. We spent a lot of time together my senior year because our other roomie was out of town a lot that year. We took lots of study breaks to go to Culvers and such :) What would I have done without her that year!? Every time we ended our conversations, I always said, "I feel like I talked too much!" And she'd always say, "B, you can never talk to much!" She was a genuine listener, the kind of person that makes you feel acknowledged, validated, encouraged, and important by the way she listened and responded. I truly felt like I could tell her anything.

Just one of many of its' kind :) 

Casey and Audrey

                             

Casey and Carson

Pretending to bite. Why not?

We were all looking at Casey because we were having a little get-together for Casey, as she was about to embark on her teaching journey in Kansas!

Roomie hands made into a star. Can't remember who's idea this was, but I do remember it took us a while to get it right enough to resemble a star!

This was June 25th, 2013, the last time we were all together. I'm so grateful we got this last time! We went to Olive Garden (of course), came back to my new house so I could give Casey a tour, then went mini-golfing :) 

Casey packed a whole lot of greatness into her all-too-short life! Her Mama raised Casey as a single mother and she did a remarkable job! Casey was honest, fun, brave, goofy, smart, welcoming, and so hard-working. She did the best she could at everything she did! She also got to achieve her dream of being a teacher. I know from listening to her stories how much she loved the kids she taught and how badly she wanted them to succeed. I have no doubt she made a difference in their lives, each and every day! She is missed there too. 

And that marks the end of my Casey tribute! I miss you friend, I will never stop missing you. Your absence is felt by your family, friends, and kids you so lovingly taught! I like to imagine you doing your groovy dance moves with the angels, your smile (and curls!) restored once more!